Growing in Love — and Helping Others Do the Same
“We love, because He first loved us.”
— 1 John 4:19 (NASB)
Love is the heartbeat of the Christian life. It is not a peripheral virtue; it is the very center of what it means to know and follow God. The apostle Paul wrote, “Now faith, hope, and love remain, these three; but the greatest of these is love.” (1 Corinthians 13:13). Love outlasts faith and hope because it is the essence of God Himself—eternal, self-giving, and pure.
Yet love does not come naturally to us. It must be planted, nurtured, and grown by the Spirit of God. The good news is that He delights to do this work in us—and through us—to draw others into the same transforming love.
Let’s look together at how we can grow in love and help others do the same.
1. Love Begins with God
Before we can grow in love, we must understand where it begins. Scripture tells us that God Himself is love (1 John 4:8). That means love is not a human invention or emotion—it is the very nature of the divine.
When John writes, “We love, because He first loved us,” he’s showing us that all true love is responsive. We don’t manufacture it; we reflect it. Love grows in us only as we receive and remain in the love that God has already shown.
Jesus described this beautifully in John 15:9:
“Just as the Father has loved Me, I also have loved you; remain in My love.”
To grow in love, we must first dwell in it. Spend time daily reflecting on the love of God revealed in Christ—His patience, His compassion, His willingness to forgive, His humility in serving, His sacrifice on the cross.
When we truly grasp that we are loved like that—fully, unconditionally, eternally—it changes the soil of our hearts. Love can only grow where we live in constant awareness of being loved ourselves.
2. Love Is Grown Through Obedience
Jesus didn’t just tell us to feel love; He called us to practice it.
“If you keep My commandments, you will remain in My love; just as I have kept My Father’s commandments and remain in His love.”
— John 15:10 (NASB)
Obedience is the trellis on which love grows. When we choose to obey God’s Word—even when it’s uncomfortable—we make space for His love to take root in us.
That means forgiving when we’d rather stay bitter.
Serving when we’d rather rest.
Giving when we’d rather keep.
Listening when we’d rather speak.
These are not small sacrifices. But every act of obedience tills the soil of our hearts, allowing God’s love to expand its reach.
The world defines love as a feeling; Jesus defines it as a choice—a cross-shaped act of the will. The deeper we walk in obedience, the more our emotions begin to align with God’s heart.
Love matures not in moments of ease but in moments of surrender.
3. Love Deepens Through the Holy Spirit
We cannot will ourselves into divine love. We can only open ourselves to the Spirit who produces it.
Paul writes in Romans 5:5:
“The love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.”
The Holy Spirit does not sprinkle love sparingly; He pours it out abundantly. That means love is not a scarce resource—it is a gift continually replenished from God’s heart to ours.
When you feel your capacity to love running dry—when patience wears thin, compassion fades, or forgiveness feels impossible—pause and pray:
“Holy Spirit, fill me again with Your love. Love this person through me.”
Love is not a performance; it is a partnership. The Spirit uses our words, our hands, and our hearts as channels through which God’s love flows to the world.
As we depend on Him, we find that love becomes more than an obligation—it becomes joy.
4. Love Is Strengthened in Community
Love cannot grow in isolation. It grows in the friction and grace of real relationships—where people test our patience, stretch our humility, and call us to compassion.
Jesus made love the identifying mark of His followers:
“By this all people will know that you are My disciples: if you have love for one another.”
— John 13:35 (NASB)
Community is the classroom of love. It’s where we learn to bear with one another, forgive one another, and rejoice with one another. It’s also where our rough edges are smoothed and our self-centeredness is exposed.
When we invest in genuine fellowship—listening, sharing, serving—we create space for the Spirit to knit our hearts together.
Helping others grow in love begins with living it among them. Be the first to extend grace. Speak gently. Practice empathy. Encourage someone who feels unseen. Every small act of love teaches others what love looks like.
As Paul reminds us, “Love never fails.” (1 Corinthians 13:8). Even when it seems unnoticed, love always leaves a mark that eternity will reveal.
5. Love Expands Through Service
If faith expresses itself through works (James 2:17), then love expresses itself through service.
Love grows stronger the more it gives away. Like a muscle, it becomes resilient through use. Jesus said, “The Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many.” (Matthew 20:28).
When we serve others—especially those who cannot repay us—we mirror the love of Christ. Each time we choose to care for someone else’s need, our hearts are reshaped to resemble His.
Ask the Lord each morning:
“Who can I serve today? Who can I encourage? Whose burden can I lighten?”
You don’t need a stage, a title, or a program to show love. A note, a visit, a meal, a prayer—all are seeds of divine love that God can multiply beyond your sight.
6. Love Perseveres Through Forgiveness
If we are to grow in love, we must learn to forgive quickly. Unforgiveness is the frost that kills love at the root.
Paul urged believers, “Be kind to one another, compassionate, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.” (Ephesians 4:32).
Forgiveness doesn’t excuse sin—it releases the offender from our judgment so God can work. It frees us from bitterness and reopens the flow of divine love in our hearts.
If you find it hard to forgive, start by praying for the person who hurt you. You may not feel love right away, but love will begin to grow as you act on it. Forgiveness is the soil where new love can spring up again.
7. Helping Others Grow in Love
Just as hope can be shared, so can love. Helping others grow in love means guiding them back to its source.
You can help others grow in love by:
• Modeling it. People learn what love looks like by watching it lived out.
• Affirming it. Point out acts of kindness and compassion in others—affirming love strengthens it.
• Teaching it. Share Scriptures that reveal God’s love and discuss what they mean in real life.
• Praying it. Ask God to deepen their understanding of His love and to fill them with the Spirit of love.
As you model patience, humility, and compassion, others begin to mirror those same qualities. Love multiplies when it is demonstrated, not just described.
8. Love Points Back to Christ
All growth in love ultimately points to one Person: Jesus.
He is the vine; we are the branches (John 15:5). Our love is not self-sustained—it is drawn from His life within us. The more we remain connected to Him, the more His love flows through us.
“This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you.” — John 15:12 (NASB)
That simple phrase, “as I have loved you,” defines our calling. We love as He loved—sacrificially, faithfully, endlessly.
When people encounter that kind of love through us, they encounter Christ Himself.
A Closing Prayer
Father, You are love itself. Thank You for loving me first and never ceasing to do so. Teach me to remain in Your love and to let it shape my heart, words, and actions. Fill me with Your Spirit so that I may love as Jesus loves—freely, humbly, and without fear. Help me to be a vessel of Your love to others, that they too may know the depth, the height, and the breadth of Your unfailing love. In Jesus’ name, Amen.